I vowed to start a blog this year, and now that we are almost at the halfway mark, I finally am. But the late start has left me with some catching up to do.
I am naming my blog "Year Without Fear." Here's the story:
In January '07, my better half had what I thought was a stroke or a heart attack at a friend's birthday party. Ends up it was only a fainting spell, but, despite a thousand medical tests telling us nothing was wrong, I held on to the fear of loss through the rest of the year. Not a good feeling to hold onto, I realized, as I spent The Eve of 2008 with friends in Hawaii reflecting on the previous year.
So on January 1st I declared 2008 would be my "year without fear." I decided to do what any rational, sane guy would do who felt the need to conquer his fear: I jumped off a cliff. I had seen a someone do it the day before and had commented that the guy was crazy. A fearless woman on the beach assured me that it was perfectly safe - "as long as you jump out far enough to clear the rocks at the bottom."
As I looked over the 50 foot cliff (or maybe it was forty feet and I was standing on top of 5 feet of fear and 5 feet of ego), I had a conversation with The Partner that went like this:
Me - "Is this foolish? Am I crazy? Am I going to going to end up on America's Stupidest Testosterone-Driven Videos?"
The Partner - "No. Yes. Maybe."
But I did it anyway and here's the proof:
I have to say that the drop was long enough for me to think "What the hell have I done?" And I came up happy to be alive, exhilarated, with NO wish to do it again. I also landed slightly on my bum and couldn't sit comfortably for 2 or 3 days.
Oh..and all fear was gone. Replaced, I suppose, by adrenalin.